Channeling Dorothy Parker

If I ever find a genie in a bottle, the first thing I'll ask for is an edgy wit like Dorothy Parker.

Parker, whose laser response to the news that President Calvin Coolidge (a quiet, stoic New Englander) had died was, "How do they know?"

Had I a clever mind like hers, I would have known what to say when my friend, a non-woodworker who was visiting my shop, inferred that I was wasting my woodworking skills.

He asked if I make things to sell at craft shows. No, I said.

Oh, so you make gifts for friends and family then? Well, no, not really.

You don't want to help build a playground or anything for the town?
No. That's not really my thing.

So you have this talent, but you're not going to share it with anyone! Well, um, I do have a woodworking blog where I share stuff with others.

He smirked.

I hadn't convinced him that my hobby was worthwhile. He would only see value in it if I built projects for others instead of just doing things that make me happy. Things like handplaning a board for hours.

Where's Dorothy when I need her?

After he left, I thought that I might have compared my hobby to that of someone who loves to read. His belief that I should only make things for others' benefit would be like never being able to choose your own books—letting others decide what you should be reading.

One of the best parts about woodworking as a hobby is you get to build what excites you. The project that makes you lie awake at night trying to figure out the best type of joinery, the order in which it should be built, the design.

It's wonderful to make things for friends and family and your community, but where's the joy if you don't also get to build something from your bucket list?

Maybe I should take up reading as a hobby. And put The Portable Dorothy Parker as my first "must-read."

Workshop Anniversary

June 2 is the 5th anniversary of my workshop being built and I've been busy getting the place spiffied up for an open house.

This prompted me to retrieve some of the progress shots I took during construction—the longest 8 weeks of my life.

My contractor and one other guy worked as quickly as possible, which was in no way in response to my constant hovering and anticipatory—rather, pleading—looks I gave them.

The year prior to ground breaking I spent researching heating and building supplies, designing the workshop, and building a scale model in preparation for the 17.5' x 36' structure.

The heating unit is linked to the oil furnace in our house. That, combined with the R-30 insulation in the floor and ceiling, and R-13 in the walls, keeps the shop toasty in winter. We added a sink, a designated breaker box, a 220 outlet in the floor beneath my table saw, south and east-facing windows, double outlets (chest and shin high) every few feet along the walls, and a door leading to the bedroom in case I need to do some handplaning at 3:00 in the morning.

I photographed the studded walls before the drywall was hung so when I need to hang something, I know where to drive a nail or screw.

I only made two mistakes in planning. We should have put 120 outlets next to the 220 in the floor so when I use the outfeed table on the table saw for assembly work, I wouldn't have to run a cord to the wall (potential tripping hazard). And, I should have run a water line under the floorboards to the back of the house to make watering plants in the yard easier.

The last three photos were taken today: the shop front, back porch, and back yard. There is another window to the left of the shop front, but you can see our messy deck in the photo, so I cropped it out.

The only bummer with building the shop was having to cut down our beautiful 90' tall tulip poplar. But in the last photo, you can see two little guys—a red bud and a Japanese snowbell, both planted within the last four years—trying hard to make up for the loss.

Here are some photos of the inside of my shop taken a year and a half ago.

Pennsbury Manor

In 1682, William Penn came to America to "create a better world" on a 26 million acre tract of land, given to him by King Charles II, which he named Pennsylvania—literally, Penn's Woods—to honor his father.

Penn was Quaker and encouraged people of other faiths to settle in the new colony. He believed that all religions should be tolerated and all people should be respected—to the point where, although the acreage had been given to him, he paid for rightful ownership to the Lenni Lenape Indians who were the original inhabitants. Despite this, he owned African slaves, which seems at odds with his principles and religious beliefs.

He chose a piece of land on which to build his estate and named it Pennsbury Manor. Weavers, gardeners, beer makers, cooks, blacksmiths, and woodworkers kept the plantation running smoothly.

Our tour guide escorted us through the bedrooms, dining areas and kitchens in the main structure and explained that one room in particular was used as a pharmacy. If you had an ailment, herbs and other things were mixed together and used as remedies.

He said that if you had a sore throat, 3 items were crushed together in a mortar and pestle. Due to the unsettling image of the 3rd ingredient, the first two have completely disappeared from my memory.

"Dry white dog turds," combined with the other two elements, were blown into the back of the sick person's throat. Do you think it was a successful cure? I sure do. Who the heck would dare complain of a sore throat after that?

Pennsbury Manor fell into ruins in the early 1800s and by the turn of the next century, the land was completely devoid of all structures.

Archaelogists discovered the foundation in the late 1930s and the Manor was rebuilt through the WPA, by referring to William Penn's notes and drawings.

Other outbuildings were constructed, including the joyners' workshop, which is where my partner and I spent HOURS with Adam Cherubini and his fellow woodworkers in a two room building with very tall workbenches. Adam is 6' 6".

Adam invited us to use all of his tools: wooden brace (made by him) with spoon and shell bits (totally fun!); try, smooth, jack, and moulding planes; frame saw; and treadle and great wheel lathes.

He showed us how to cut a rabbet with just a chisel and demonstrated his techniques with various tools.

In the group photo, left to right, are Warren, Paul, Adam, and Dave—four woodworkers who spend their time poking fun at each other, giving demonstrations, and building things for the Manor, thus proving that the joyners have the best job on the estate.















Despite the rainy day, we had a fabulous time. If you plan to visit, take note that the joyners are in the shop the first Sunday of each month.

Safety's No Joke

My terrier/chihuahua mix, Daisy, who fancies herself a Rhodes Scholar, thought she'd play a trick on me with a handsaw that she fashioned from a piece of cardboard and aluminum foil.

Safety's not funny, Daisy. No one's laughing.

Making light of safety, horsing around in the workshop, playing "catch the circular saw blade" with your buddy or "pin the 6-penny nail on the spinning lathepiece"...that's how accidents happen.

While we all want to enjoy our time in the shop, we must continually be aware of potentially dangerous situations.

Like the guy who cut his thumb off three times on the bandsaw (as told to me by a mutual friend).

I'll give you one, maybe two, but if you cut your thumb off and have it reattached three times, you either need to take up word search puzzles as a hobby or you deserve the nickname "Blunder Thumb," "You could kick my butt at Nintendo cuz only one thumb works," or "Non-opposable Ninny."

We should strive to be more like Rosie, my Cairn terrier, who always practices shop safety. And although she may be a few kibbles short of a full bowl, she does still have both her dewclaws.

Happy Woodworkers Safety Week!

Woodworkers Safety Week is the brainchild of Marc Spagnuolo, The Wood Whisperer.

Holding Devices for Carving

Mike Galloway does it all—carving, turning, and furniture making—and he gave the presentation at our last woodworking club meeting.

I was particularly interested in the clever ways in which he secures his workpiece while he carves.

When working on a small project like his bottle stopper (top photo), he screws it onto the end of a stick. This provides a handle with which to grip the work.

When he carves a larger piece, like an Indian (shown below), he partially screws the bottom of the workpiece to a small board that has a large wing nut. He slides the screw between the forked ends of a bendable arm so that the work is on one side of the fork and the board with wingnut is on the other. Then he screws it tight and clamps the assembly into his bench vise.

For his relief carvings (4th photo)—he uses double-sided carpet tape to fasten the work to a larger board that can be clamped to his benchtop.

Since this tape grips so tightly, it can be difficult to remove the project without damaging it. So, Mike drills holes on the opposite side of the backer board and taps the work loose with a dowel.

At right and below are photos of some of Mike's finished pieces: tiger maple dovetailed chest, carved Indian, carved bark hobbit house, and two segmented bowls.

Thanks, Mike, for sharing some of your tricks of the trade!

Woodworking in America--registration open!

For the August conference on Furniture Construction and Design, you can register Thursday, April 30, at Noon EDT.  Don't wait!  This will fill up fast.

Click here to see the schedule.

Fort Frederick Market Fair

If there had been events like this when I was in high school, I might have been more interested in American history. As it was, the history professor/football coach whose teaching style consisted of "Read chapters 1 & 2" while he worked on his strategy for the game just didn't cut it.

The 15th Annual Market Fair at Fort Frederick, whose website does not do it justice, was so much fun, we considered going back again today.

135 sutlers in period costume, and at least as many reenactors who were merely camping, pitched rows of white canvas tents that filled the grounds surrounding the fort.

Handmade knives, pottery, tinware, furs, muskets, furniture, treenware, leather accessories, and period clothing were sold by makers who were dressed as colonists, frontiersmen, Indians (some very scantily clad—my mom was thrilled), and Highlanders from the time period of the French and Indian War.

I snapped a photo of two men in Scottish Highlander attire for Ethan—a woodworker who loves kilts. Ethan, I want you to know that I was forced to listen to a naughty Scottish joke in order to get this photo for you.

A Crocodile Dundee look-alike knife maker and other head turners were everywhere. One lady pulled a heavy wooden cart, which was loaded with her wares.

Now, maybe it's just me, but if you're going to be a reenactor and you can wear any outfit or pretend to be any historical person you want, why would you voluntarily choose to be "Ox Cart-Pulling Lady"? Seriously. If I were to be a reenactor, there would be some kind of crown involved.

I met several woodworkers, one of whom was Brian Graham, of Patapsco Valley Woodwright, who builds and sells furniture and handtools and sells antique tools (I bought three handplanes). He worked at a shaving horse that he had made from tiger maple.

Another furniture maker, Dennis Bork, of Antiquity Period Designs, Ltd., set up a double size tent as a showpiece for his cupboards, writing slopes, bed, tables, chairs and other beautifully-made pieces.

Ralph Aument of Fort Augusta Woodworking displayed sawbuck tables, settles, chests, and other pieces and showed me some of his antique tools, including a strap hammer and brace from Colonial Williamsburg.

Richard Toone, of Living History Shop, makes authentic campaign furniture. Some of his pieces can be seen at Monticello, Mt. Vernon,

Yorktown, and the Smithsonian. Richard talked to me at length about joinery methods and historical facts about his furniture. My partner had to drag me out of his tent.

I think my history teacher would be proud.

Welsh Stick Chairs Book

I believe this book, which was written by John Brown, has been difficult to find at a low price. So if you've been looking for it, the latest edition is now available for $20 at Country Workshops.