Sunday, December 14, 2008

You know you’re a woodworker when...

You cut yourself with a chisel and you’re more concerned about not getting blood on your workpiece than you are about the laceration.

You inexplicably find sawdust in your drawers. And I’m not talking about furniture.

You can say “crotchwood” with a straight face.

It has caused you great pain to pay money for furniture that was poorly made.

You have dropped to your knees and looked beneath a table in a museum, a gallery, an historic home, or a friend’s house.

You know the difference between a tendon and a tenon but you sometimes use the words interchangeably.

You cannot resist the temptation to lift the lid on a wooden box.

You secretly think “measuring tape” suspenders are pretty cool.

You can talk to your partner/spouse/significant other for HOURS about woodworking despite the glazed over look in his/her eyes.

You have wondered what it would be like to own a woodworking business.

You can spend an entire day in your shop, accomplish little if anything, and thoroughly enjoy it.

You know exactly where everything is in your shop....except for a pencil.

You have said these words: “I can build that in two weeks.”

You have built more projects in your head than in actuality.

Your spouse/partner/loved ones/pets know not to bother you, and sometimes choose to run for cover, when you are gluing up a project.

Even if you don’t work with it, you love the smell of fresh cut pine.

You either love or hate the smell of fresh cut walnut. There is no in-between.

You remove more splinters from your hands in a month than most people do in a lifetime.

You can correctly pronounce Padauk and Lignum Vitae.

31 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

And the folks at the ER know you by name.

Just how many wood magazines do you read?

You want to junk your modern Stanley, Record ,etc planes for a set of Bedrocks.

You actually know what Rockwell hardness is.

You've said more than a few times, "No, it's not dirty, just dusty."

It comes easy, "Don't touch that!"

Japanese Woodworking Tools (Jojo) said...

You've given me a good laugh. Thank you Kari, now it's official: I'm doomed.

I can check almost all of them although I've learned to tame myself on #9 and to read her eye's expression. I don't want to risk a divorce from the one who took me to a Lee Valley store for the first time (and more importantly, followed me through the aisles for hours without complaining even once!).

Woodbloke said...

Kari - one you forgot:
You always open a drawer first to see what the dovetails are like (and also to test the fit) - Rob

Al Navas said...

You know you are...

When the camera in your cell phone does not work... because fine saw dust got under the button you press to take the photo... :(

Pete Bretzke said...

Tape measures! Oh the hours I have wasted looking for one of the dozens of tape measures I own.

Larry Marshall said...

You made my day, Kari!

I confess to all of them except for that tendon/tenon thing. Must be my biology training.

Cheers --- Larry

Dave said...

I laughed out loud when I read #1. I can't count how many times that I've cut myself and been more concerned about what I'm bleeding on than the fact that I am bleeding.

I don't work with pine too much, but whenever I do the whole shop smells like a Christmas tree. Freshly cut pine has a wonderful smell.

Dave

Bill Satko said...

All of them are great, but for some reason I resonated with:

You have said these words: “I can build that in two weeks.”

Good job capturing my reality and apparantly many others.

The Village Carpenter said...

Thanks for the comments and for the additions to the list! : )

Rob said...

Kari,

Ha ha, great! Funny and dead-on. First one is my favorite. True!

Rob

The Great Ethan Allen said...

Ah the pencil one is true for my dad but not me! I have a hundred of them all over the place! But I do look at the underneath of furniture to see how they were constructed. Is that so strange?

Silverback said...

Aah, aren't you the clever one...yes, I think you are!

Mack said...

... You remove your hat, bow, and genuflect when St. Roy looks at you during WIA...

... When your blog reader has more than 10 woodworking blogs in it...

... If you refer to the man as, "The Schwartz."

...You think Frank Klausz actually invented the dovetail...

... You get more excited about a good handplane or dovetail saw than the woman in your life does about jewelry...

... A finally planed piece of cherry instills reverence deep within your soul...

... The smell of shellac is something to look forward to, and you see nothing wrong with that ...

... Titebond stuck to your hands is nothing new to anyone in your life ...

... You head to your shop to have that good cry you've been needing ...

Geez, I better stop.

Doug Fulkerson said...

Great list, Kari!

A few to add to it...

You know not to say the words "carcase saw" too loud in public places. (Ditto the words "striking knife")

You know that Lie-Nielsen isn't that actor from the Naked Gun movies.

Not only have you gotten on your hands and knees at museums to stare at furniture, but your head has knots from banging it against the plexiglass trying to get a closer look. (Uhm, guilty)

You fantasize about the furniture the oak tree in your front yard might make when the Weather Channel forecasts high winds.

You pass over the Victoria's Secret catalog that just came in the mail for the Lee Valley catalog underneath it.

Your Firefox web browser is perpetually set on the Walnut add-on even though it's really Oak.

You've rearranged a holiday or vacation trip to see or buy something related to woodworking.

You have more lumber stacked in your garage than was used to build your entire home.

Cheers!

The Village Carpenter said...

Yes, yes, and yes! Especially this one from Doug: "You've rearranged a holiday or vacation trip to see or buy something related to woodworking."

Gary Roberts said...

You've kept that plank of curly cherry for ten years and that plank of rosewood for twenty years 'cause you know you'll find the perfect project for it tomorrow.

Joe Keer said...

While putting another log into the fireplace, you think to yourself: "Jeez, that's got nice figure. I shouldn't be burning this one."

Konrad said...

Great list! You had both my wife and I laughing and 1/2 way through she asked “is she writing about you?”

Cheers,
Konrad Sauer

herb said...

Someone inadvertently mentions the word 'sharp' in a conversation, and that's all it takes to get you started in clearing a room.

jim said...

too true, great list and comments.

My wife reminded me that "I can build that in two weeks" needs to be followed by "Piece of cake!" (my famous last words).

The Village Carpenter said...

All true! Thanks for adding to the list. :o)

bugbear said...


You secretly think “measuring tape” suspenders are pretty cool.


Don't say that in Britain!

BugBear

LizPf said...

And you know woodworking has caught another victim when ...

You don't want to wash the old t-shirt you wore to your last woodworking class because it smells like sawdust;

you don't have a bench yet, or room for one, so you use the dining table;

that same table, which looked so good to you a month ago, now has mismatched boards in the top, and pocket screws, and ... you're sure you can build a better one.

Mike said...

When you buy a house, you get more excited about the garage than the kitchen,

And you tell your real estate agent, "Be sure he knows that it's okay if he doesn't want to move the scrap pile!" because a woodworker used to live there.

Unfortunately, he took the scrap with him. Dang it. There was some nice wood in there.

The Village Carpenter said...

Good ones, guys!

Bugbear, I had to google that word to see what it means in Britain. :o)

John said...

A real list of 'Woodworker's traits' (I almost said Woodie there, until I remembered, it means something else in the Good ol' US of A!) :)
Well done.
John

John said...

I can add just one?

You look at an ancient oak and wonder...

'How many sideboards could I make from that?'

:)
John

The Village Carpenter said...

lol@John! Yes, please refrain from using the term "woodie" as this is a G-rated blog. haha

RShermet said...

You're not a true woodworker until you blow your nose and saw dust comes out!

dalbergian said...

You know you're a woodworker when you lick a piece of untreated wood to see what the finished surface might look like.

Never Too Busy said...

Hahaha! I can honestly say all of those have happened to me except 2.